stressing out about my visa. but if everything works out, i'll be leaving the US in 8 days.

saw black swan; flipped out. so good.

trying to sleep more. hate that i feel too nervous to go to bed, usually.

re-reading A Gate at the Stairs to try to find this one passage that I vaguely remember but want to find the exact wording of. Discovering smaller forgotten gems along the way:

People said the council had packed everything up in a rocket and sent it back to its plane, leaving some strays behind.

The strays I felt were my own friends, who were now like martians to me. They guzzled brandy straight from the bottle, drank TheraFlu recreationally like toddies on weekends (though, truth be told, I still did that myself). [...] Prepositions mystified. Almost everyone said "on" accident instead of "by." [...] And they used tenses like "I'd been gonna." As in, "I'd been gonno to do that but then I never got around toot." It was the hypothetical conditional past, time and intention carved so obliquely and fine that I could only almost comprehend it, until, like Einstein's theory of relativity, which also sometimes flashed cometlike into my view, it whooshed away again, beyond my grasp.